THE SIMPLE WAY TO MAKE DECISIONS

This post contains a mix of brilliant content from the writings of Michael Neill and a little bit of me.

This guy is an amazing transformation coach and has been called the finest success coach in the world today.

In theory, making decisions should be one of the easiest things in the world for us to do.  After all, we either want to do something or we don’t.  On those rare occasions when we’re not sure, it doesn’t really matter.  We can make whatever decision we want, or even flip a coin, knowing that we can change our minds afterward if what we thought we wanted turns out not to be all it was cracked up to be.

Why is decision making so difficult so much of the time?

Mostly because we get caught up in our thoughts that the decision matters and that in some way we could or should know in advance how things will turn out. But what if we couldn’t make a mistake?  What if whatever you decided always turned out to be the best thing, given the range of choices and information you had available to you at that moment?

The secret of effective decision making is simply this:

What you decide will never impact your life as much as how you handle the consequences of that decision.

In other words, marrying the wrong person is just a mistake;
staying married to them for the next 25 years and being miserable about it is a bad decision.
Getting tipsy and embarrassing yourself in front of that hottie from the office might be a mistake; letting it define you as a loser, a drunk or someone not fit for human society would be a bad decision.

What makes for good decisions is what executive supercoach John LaValle calls “good brain juice.” The clarity in your mind that comes from having good feelings going on inside your body. What can make things easier is recognising that no matter what you decide, you can almost always change your mind.

The simple truth is we are designed in such a way that our unconscious programming drives our behaviour.  When our “rational” thinking mind steps in, it’s more often to justify our actions than it is to steer the ship. 

When we are willing to simply trust ourselves and follow our instinct without filling in gaps in our memories with fabrications that we believe to be facts or a series or really good reasons for what we’ve decided we have a gentle rule of thumb for making decisions with impunity.

The number of reasons you have to do something is inversely proportional to how much you actually want to do it.

Since our reasons can’t be trusted the only real basis for making a decision is this:

Do you want to?

Navigating by desire means you base your decisions about what to do or not do on the questions, “Do I want to?” If the answer is ‘yes’ you do your best to move forward; if the answer is ‘no’, you do your best to stay put.

Navigating by mood, on the other hand, is when you attempt to base your decision on the answer to the question, “Do I feel like it?”  If you don’t feel like doing something, you put it off until later, if you do feel like it, you move forward.  Since our moods are often tied up in old habits and patterns of thinking following them tends to just create more of the ‘same old, same old’ in our lives.  Somehow we just don’t get around to making those changes we know we’d love to make and things that seem as though they’ll take too much effort are put off until the last minute or aren’t done at all.

Wanting however is a living, breathing, fluid process.  Each time you do what you want (or don’t do what you don’t want), your actions seem effortless and it becomes easier and easier to read and follow your inner compass.  Life gets a lot simpler and the pursuit of success becomes a lot more fun.

Finally, The Wisdom of Common Sense

Common sense, innate wisdom approach to life is nearly always available to us, but we spend so much of our time caught up in the whirlwind of our thoughts that we don’t notice it.  And even when we do notice it, we’ll often ignore it, hoping that our intellect can find a different answer more in keeping with what we hope will turn out to be true.

For example: Nearly every woman I’ve talked to who has come out the other side of a bad marriage has told me that she knew not to marry the guy at some point before getting far enough down the aisle to say “I do.”

  • Wisdom is ever present and always kind
  • Wisdom is sometimes soft but always clear
  • Wisdom comes most often in the midst of inner quiet
  • Wisdom feels right, even if it doesn’t always feel good
  • Wisdom often comes disguised as “common sense” but in reality is extremely uncommon in usage.

Your wisdom is right there inside you, just waiting for you to allow it to guide you.

You need only be quiet and listen – when you relax into it, you’ll almost always know what to do.

Your thoughts, comments, personal story or suggestions are important to me.

With love and gratitude

Jenny xx

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About Jenny Smith

Jenny Smith has written 81 post in this blog.

Jenny is an absolute advocate and champion for women rediscovering themselves through the process of divorce.

She is the creator of the Divorced Women's Club www.divorcedwomensclub.com.au and Co-creator of Separation Made Easy www.separationmadeeasy.com. She delivers bespoke programs for women through her coaching services, writing, on-line programs and the Divorced Women's Club Members Lounge, a safe and private community for women to connect, share and support each other.

Jenny Smith

Jenny is an absolute advocate and champion for women rediscovering themselves through the process of divorce. She is the creator of the Divorced Women's Club www.divorcedwomensclub.com.au and Co-creator of Separation Made Easy www.separationmadeeasy.com. She delivers bespoke programs for women through her coaching services, writing, on-line programs and the Divorced Women's Club Members Lounge, a safe and private community for women to connect, share and support each other.