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EMOTIONAL WOUNDS BURY THEMSELVES AT THE VERY CORE OF OUR BEING AS A RESULT OF SEPARATION AND DIVORCE
Today I am sharing some snippets from the delightful Martha Beck in my writing today.
‘Emotional Wounds’ we all have them.
Some from childhood experiences, our teenage years and lost love and relationships that came to an end.
In my role as a coach and mentor giving divorce advice for women a common question is about heartbreak. Questions like ‘when will the pain go away?’
Many women use these words to describe how they feel, ‘my heart is broken,’ ‘my heart has been ripped open,’ ‘I can feel the pain in my heart.’
These words are in songs about lost love, and used by people in various stages of grief, whether related to separation and divorce or the loss a loved one through death.
A broken heart is a felt experience, there is literally pain felt in the heart region.
Our emotions are incredibly powerful and precise navigational tools and many of us have encountered circumstances that damaged our emotional wellbeing. If you have managed to go through life without taking any shrapnel to the heart, you and I obviously aren’t living on the same planet.
Hemingway wrote that although life breaks us all, some of us manage to become strong at the broken places.
This happens naturally if an emotional wound has the right conditions to heal. Some people who live in an emotionally safe environment start mending almost as soon as their injuries occur, the rest of us were on emotional battlefields where there wasn’t even a safe place to rest let alone anyone skilled enough to administer first aid. So we patched our wounds as best we could and battled on, still bleeding, still carrying shrapnel in our souls.
Our self-doubt, fear and grief made us pull away from our desires and opportunities that would have been perfect for us if we had been in good emotional health.
When we stop to clean, dress and stitch up our emotional injuries it is a key step toward attaining the life you want.
Even if you achieve things that seem outwardly fabulous, or head into a new relationship an unhealed emotional injury will make you experience them as empty and unappealing. These are the things that will keep coming up to bite you time and time again.
There is evidence that the body will store these emotional wounds for years and years and they can have a detrimental effect on your physical health of our bodies.
I thought I had done all that needed to be done for myself, forgiveness and acceptance until about 10 years later when I was doing a detox for a week it all came out as I was having a Reiki treatment. There were tears that seemed to come from nowhere that flowed, non stop for about 24 hours. I’ll never forget that day or the words that came out of my mouth. Strong ugly words that I would normally never use to describe how I felt about what had happened years before.
The reality is that we all need time to grieve, it is the bodies natural way of helping us heal, but sometimes we need to get some external help to release some of these deep core tightly held emotions. Before you head off into a new relationship my advice to you is this, ‘do whatever you need to do to clear up the emotional wounds and blocks before you enter into a new relationship.’
Practicing mediation, massages, working with a body worker and energy healer, Reiki, EFT or other similar techniques are all there to help you.
What was your personal experience of feeling your heart break?
Your thoughts, comments, personal story or suggestions are important to me.
With love and gratitude
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