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THE LOTUS FLOWER – STUCK IN THE MUD
‘Right in the middle of my life, I realised that I wasn’t where I wanted to be. It was like I’d wandered off the right path into a very, very, bad neighourhood. I don’t even want to remember how scary that space was, makes me feel like I’m going to die or something. I’m only telling you about it because a whole lot of good came of it in the long run. So anyway, I don’t even know how I ended up so far off course. I felt like I have been sleep walking. Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy 1307
Divorce is one of those life-changing events where we suddenly find ourselves stuck in the wrong neighbourhood, the wrong life.
Whether the decision to end your relationship was yours or your partners, this is and will be, one of the most incredibly challenging times in your life.
The major difficulty that you will face at this time is that there are two clear processes of divorce that coincide and significantly affect one another. The emotional roller coaster that you are already on and the legal process of separation and the eventual dissolution of the marriage. They happen simultaneously and the one clearly influences the other.
The first 3 – 6 months of this life changing event will be one of the most challenging times you’ve known but it doesn’t have to be the worst time in your life.
As you face an unknown future there will be times when your life feels out of control and you are facing massive changes ahead as you move through what I have identified as the Transition Phase in the three stages of change.
This stage has been designed to give you the very best tools, information and resources to help you move through this phase as smoothly and as quickly as possible. Given that you will be experiencing a range of emotions, many of them all at the same time, I have placed a great deal of emphasis on the emotional aspects in this phase. I believe emotional fitness, awareness and control are the keys to ensuring that you are able to respond to challenging situations rather than react or even worse over react.
This is a critical stage for you to spend time focusing on yourself and doing everything you can to take ownership of the situation, make clear considered decisions, clearly communicate your needs with family and friends and importantly, make your self care one of your highest priorities including your mental, emotional and physically fitness.
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