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Following on from the previous post Stephen Covey today we are talking all about the Six Major Deposits.
Understanding the Individual
Really seeking to understand another person is probably one of the most important deposits you can make, and it is the key to every other deposit. What might be a deposit for you – going for a walk to talk things over might not be perceived by someone else as a deposit at all. U
nderstand them deeply as individuals, the way you would want to be understood and then to treat them in terms of that understanding.
Attending to the Little Things
The little kindnesses and courtesies are so important. Small discourtesies, little unkindnesses, little forms of disrespect make large withdrawals. In relationships, the big things are the little things.
Keeping commitments or a promise is a major deposit; breaking one is a major withdrawal. In fact, there’s probably not a more massive withdrawal than to make a promise that’s important to someone and then not to come through.
Unclear expectations in the area of goals also undermine communication and trust. The cause of almost all relationship difficulties is rooted in conflicting or ambiguous expectations around roles and goals. Clarifying expectations sometimes takes a great deal of courage. It seems easier to act as though differences don’t exist and to hope things work out than it is to face the differences and work together to arrive at a mutually agreeable set of expectations.
Showing Personal Integrity
Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty.
Honesty is telling the truth – in other words, conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words – in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life. If you treat everyone by the same set of principles people will come to trust you. However they may not at first appreciate the honest confrontational experiences such integrity might generate. It is said that to be trusted is greater than to be loved. In the long run, I am convinced, to be trusted will be also to be loved.
Apologising Sincerely When You Make A Withdrawal
It takes a great deal of character strength to apologise quickly out of one’s heart rather than out of pity.
A person must possess himself and have a deep sense of security in fundamental principles and values in order to genuinely apologise.
Leo Roskin taught, “It is the weak who are cruel. Softness can only be expected from the strong.”
Your thoughts, comments, personal story or suggestions are important to me.
With love and gratitude
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