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I was speaking to my daughter last night about the Steps To Separation Workshops we are running and she said she thought some people might be too embarrassed or ashamed to go along to a workshop either before they leave a relationship or in the early stages of separation. And I get it!
I didn’t want anyone to know what was going on for me and I didn’t really talk to anyone about it for way too long. Pride, shame, embarrassed, confused, lost and very, very lonely are just some of the emotions and feelings I was experiencing at that time.
When it comes to separating from someone you loved and shared a very big part of your life with many of the choices and decisions that most people make are emotionally driven, so many things said in anger, and this is like adding fuel to a fire that is already out of control.
With hindsight what would I have done differently.
With hindsight I would have reached out for help rather than keeping everything bottled up inside.
With hindsight I would have spoken to professionals before my marriage had reached that ‘tipping point.’
With hindsight I would not have turned to my friends, some of whom had been divorced, to seek their advice.
With hindsight I would have spoken to professionals about the divorce process.
With hindsight I would have done many things differently and perhaps with hindsight there would be fewer regrets that appear from time to time.
With hindsight the choices I made have had a massive influence on my life and those closest to me.
Ultimately there are always consequences with decisions and choices we make. Every decision and choice sets us off onto a particular path and once on this path it is rare that we can undo what we have done.
We can take detours along the way but inevitably the journey will take longer than necessary, there will be more obstacles and challenges than there need to be, more people get hurt, and the people we love the most get caught in the middle.
If you are about to head out on the separation and divorce journey, STOP, BREATHE, pick up the phone and give me a call.
If you would like to chat to Jenny about anything at all, even your favourite wine click here to schedule a time https://calendly.com/jenny-smith-1/what-s-going-on-in-your-world