DID YOU USE A ‘HEART STARTER’

Have you heard the term DEFRIBRILLATOR?

The word defibrillator means, in medical terms, “treatment for any abnormal activity of the heart … defibrillator consists of delivering a therapeutic dose of electrical energy to the affected area of the heart”

It’s a new phrase coined by actress Jennifer Aniston when she announced that the actor and comedian Vince Vaughan had been her defibrillator man, after her painful divorce from Brad Pitt.

‘He brought me back to life,’ the actress said in an interview. ‘He made me laugh, and put the spring back in my step.’

Newly divorced women need ‘defibrillator’ men to shock them back to life before they start a serious relationship. From the viewpoint of most people, there seemed little chance that the somewhat chubby Vaughan was ever going to step into the shoes of her ex.  But, like so many other women who have been through divorce, Aniston felt the need for a fling which wasn’t going to go anywhere, but which would re-establish her faith in herself as a sexy, fun woman.  Vince Vaughn was the ‘defibrillator’ she needed after the breakup of her relationship with Brad Pitt.

And I agree, after divorce women feel deflated, they lack confidence and they are very wary of falling into the same trap again.
In my experience, newly divorced women want a man as different from their ex-husband as possible.
‘Jennifer Aniston choosing Vince Vaughan was a classic case. Whereas Brad was short, blond and most famous for his looks, Vince was tall, dark and bubbling over with cheery good humour. He would have been easy-going, made Jennifer laugh and offered her friendship as much as romance.’

Many women use them as a way of putting themselves back in the driving seat after a marriage that has spiralled out of control and left them feeling as if they have no self-worth and the issue of control is vital for divorced women in defibrillator relationships.

Annie 52, and works as an office manager. She lives in North London, and has two grown-up children. Annie says: ‘My defibrillator relationship after my divorce was hilarious – something I would never have done as the staid stay-at-home mother I was before.’

Like Shirley Valentine, the formerly prim middle-class mother cast caution to the winds and jetted off to the South of France with a millionaire businessman for a weekend of passionate romance.
‘It was never going anywhere,’ she says, ‘but it made the world of difference to how I felt about myself.

I’m curious to know how many of you had a defibrillator relationship after your divorce and what it meant to you.

I’ll put my hand up first here.  Yes, I did – and yes he was a complete opposite to my ex-husband and although it was also never going to go anywhere and nor did I want it to, it was nevertheless a time in my life that I will always remember with wonderful memories, and special friendship that will last forever.

Your thoughts, comments, personal story or suggestions are important to me.

With love and gratitude

Jenny xx

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About Jenny Smith

Jenny Smith has written 81 post in this blog.

Jenny is an absolute advocate and champion for women rediscovering themselves through the process of divorce.

She is the creator of the Divorced Women's Club www.divorcedwomensclub.com.au and Co-creator of Separation Made Easy www.separationmadeeasy.com. She delivers bespoke programs for women through her coaching services, writing, on-line programs and the Divorced Women's Club Members Lounge, a safe and private community for women to connect, share and support each other.

Jenny Smith

Jenny is an absolute advocate and champion for women rediscovering themselves through the process of divorce. She is the creator of the Divorced Women's Club www.divorcedwomensclub.com.au and Co-creator of Separation Made Easy www.separationmadeeasy.com. She delivers bespoke programs for women through her coaching services, writing, on-line programs and the Divorced Women's Club Members Lounge, a safe and private community for women to connect, share and support each other.